Friday, March 30, 2007

Take me out to the ballgame: The predictions

Opening Day is almost here, so it's about time for my baseball predictions for 2007. All the standard fare is here, including division winners, wild cards, MVPs and Cy Young winners, and of course, the World Series outcome. But anyone can give you that: here, you'll also get the dirt, the MLB gloss & glam, you know, the really interesting stuff.

The dull stuff:
American League
East: Boston Red Sox
Central: Minnesota Twins
West: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Wild Card: New York Yankees

MVP: Vladimir Guerrero, LA Angels
Cy Young: Johan Santana, Minnesota
Rookie of the Year: Daisuke Matsuzaka, Boston
Manager of the Year: Mike Scioscia, LA Angels

National League
East: New York Mets
Central: St Louis Cardinals
West: San Diego Padres
Wild Card: Philadelphia Phillies

MVP: Albert Pujols, St Louis
Cy Young: Roy Oswalt, Houston
Rookie of the Year: Chris Young, Arizona
Manager of the Year: Willie Randolph, New York

World Series: Mets over Angels in seven

The interesting stuff:
Start with an easy one. A-Rod will say something (else) dumb to the media about his contract status and his relationship with Jeter.

The Pirates are forced to forfeit a game when the entire team, including the manager, refuse to take the field wearing their new red vests.

The San Francisco Giants will undergo yet another ballpark sponsorship change, this time choosing a business with more stability and staying power: after the All Star Game, they begin play at the newly renamed BALCO field.

The Devil Rays and Nationals both begin tanking games by June in a race for ping pong balls in the Oden/Durant lottery before remembering they don't compete in the NBA.

MLB celebrates Sunshine Kids Day in a belated response to the Biggio hat pin backlash, including placing Sunshine Kids logos on the bases. This instigates another fan backlash, a la the Spiderman 2 Controversy of 2004.

Roger Clemens re-signs with the Astros, with his contract stipulating that, in addition to preferential travel arrangements and generous time off, he will be carried to and from the mound by a batboy.

Texas Ranger Mark Teixeira wins the All Star Game MVP, becoming the third Rangers to do so in four years, handing home field advantage in the World Series to division rivals Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim. However, their unstable name will be too much to overcome as they lose Game 7 at home.

Barry Bonds will break Hank Aaron's career home run record, causing the biggest uncomfortable and bitter 'celebration' sports has ever seen.

Ken Griffey Jr.'s left arm will come detached during his follow through on a home run, landing him on the 60 day DL and effectively ending his season.

Pete Rose admits on ESPN's Budweiser Hot Seat to betting on his fantasy baseball team.


patrick said...

Chris, have you been keeping up with MLB down there? The Mets? They're the Yankees of the NL. All hitting, no pitching. Even worse pitching than the Yankees as a matter of fact. If Chipper stays healthy and Hampton comes back strong look out for the Bravos.

Chris said...

Being the Yankees of the NL isn't exactly a strong indictment. And when you start dropping 'ifs' when making your team's case, you've already lost. I actually think the Angels will win it all, but then I'd lose the 'unstable name' joke. It's a case of style over substance. But whatever happens, it won't be the Braves.

Anonymous said...

What??!! No mention of the Rangers! Isn't this the next year that is always spoken of in Texas? After all, they have a new manager, that should solve all the problems. Anyone have a bridge in Arizona that I can purchase?